April is Cesarean Awareness Month. Without a doubt, modern medicine can be credited with saving many, many lives. Sometimes births end in cesareans and there is nothing wrong with that. Mothers who birth by cesarean do just that, give birth- no less than anyone else’s births. They are strong, brave, determined, loving mothers-just like anyone else. As a society the way we both question and dismiss cesarean mothers can leave a lot to be desired. People sometimes ask things like “What went wrong?” or say things like “Some people just can’t deliver naturally.” These things may seem innocent but in reality they are very hurtful.
What should you say instead?
-Do you want to talk about it?
-You did a wonderful job.
-I’m so happy you and baby are healthy.
-How can I help?
Time can be the biggest healer but sometimes moms need to download on someone they can trust, someone that will listen to their story. With Postpartum Depression being such an epidemic we NEED to be there for each other and support one another however we can, no matter how they birth.
The physical recovery from a cesarean can be extremely brutal. It hurts and there is no way to sugar coat that. When a mother may experience pain just from holding her baby we need to step in and be her village. Many women have to return to work before they are even healed from the incisions.
Respect her space. Give her a safe place to share but if she doesn’t want to then don’t press the matter. Some moms carry guilt, anxiety, fear and so many other feelings and they SHOULDN’T. They are amazing. They are enough. They should be celebrated.
Check out our Facebook page to read some incredible cesarean birth stories. Asana Doula Services